To My Daughter On Her First Day of Kindergarten;
I’ve heard people say that once kids go to kindergarten they are no longer yours. This is dramatic. And weird.
But a little bit true.
And well, here we are. After spending the great majority of the last five years together, today the rest of the world gets the majority of you.
And I’m panicking a little.
Did we do all the things?? Did I teach you all the things?? Who will pick you up when you scrape your knee? And, oh my, if someone calls you Sleeping Beauty instead of Rapunzel are you going to drop the d-word?!
Lord help me.
I know I’ve walked this path once before with your brother. It went smoothly and all is well.
But in a world where it seems like encompassing all the things being a woman means is more confusing than ever, I’m sure there’s something important that I’ve missed.
So, in a panicked state of getting it all in {at least the advice part} here I go.
Let’s start with this stuff about being a girl.
This is never a limitation, it is a blessing. In a job, in a sport, in a science experiment: you can do anything a boy can do. Of course you can.
Know this.
And if you ever get wrapped up feeling like you have to prove it, please also know this: women were made to be unique. We are special for a reason. In the way we can birth new life and then nurture that life with our bodies, our hearts, and our souls. It is remarkable.
Remember this. Don’t over-look it.
When the time comes you may decide to be a world-renowned surgeon. Or your goal may be to be a stay-at-home mom. These paths are different, but one is not better than the other. In both you will be investing your time into others and making the world a better place. I will be your biggest cheerleader in whatever you may choose. But there will come a time when I can only guide you so far, so listen: Wherever you end up is an outcome of choices. Every choice you make in your life will have a consequence. And you and only you are responsible for your own happiness. Judge your success by your happiness. Not by your bank account.
Next.
As Oscar Wilde has said, “you can never be overdressed or overeducated.”
This is true. Ask the questions. Read the books. Get the degree even if you don’t use it forever. Seek the truth in all things.
And while your at it, brush your hair. Take pride in your appearance, always. This has nothing to do with the brand you wear, the car you drive or the house you live in. This is about how you present yourself to the world. It will be the first impression people have of you. But when you look in the mirror, be more concerned with what you see in the inside. This is the most important impression people will have of you.
If you feel it in your heart then sing it loud.
Just like the lyrics in one of our favorite movies. When you find a passion, run with it. It doesn’t matter how many other people do it, have it, love it or hate it. As long as you’re being safe and not hurting another living being, you do you.
Love.
Love is the greatest gift you will ever receive. It can come in the form of a person, a place, or a thing. It is the emotion that makes all things possible. Do not ever judge someone else for how they do it.
Find it in all forms and be with it as much as time allows. To do this you though there is a secret- you have to be intentional. Please, please, please do not waste this gift that is life and just float through it. Do not work a job you hate, live in a place that doesn’t feel like home, or put your energy into things that don’t fuel your soul.
Do not just exist. Live.
Life is precious. It is delicate. And it is not a dress rehearsal. Live it exactly the way you want to watch it being played back in the end.
This last one may be the hardest to hear.
Someday you are going to meet someone that doesn’t like you. Or something you believe in. Or a choice that you make. Maybe more than one. They may say or do things that hurt you. This is life. You will never please everyone. Don’t waste your time trying. Do not ever, and I mean ever, compromise who you are at your core for them. Respect all people and expect the same in return. And if you and/or they cannot do at that, it is okay to move on. This is a common misconception.
Eat your vegetables… moisturize… hydrate…
My sweet girl.
This is all way too much for your little head to handle right now. I know this. All you really care about is that you’ve heard that your teacher is the best hugger in the world.
Keep it that way.
The truth is, so much about life can only be learned by trial and error. I can only hope that I have done enough, and that I have led by example more times than I have failed to do so. This is your journey, not mine to hold you back from having. You will fly and you will fail. And when either happens I’ll be here. It is the great pleasure of my life.
Go get ’em girl. I can’t wait to hear all about those hugs.